On high school girls in the next booth

I wish I had a sword I could stab through the back of the booth
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Adults on chosing between Edward and Jacob

Friend 1: Edward is pale and hairy, I can only imagine his terrible man thighs. Jacob is dark and handsome making him the hottness.

Friend 2: I'd prefer Edward for his personality and vampireness.

Me: Sorry to interject, but I'd fuck both of them, at the same time.

Friend 2: lmao - I don't know about the same time, but I'd do both of them.

Me: I don't know who I'd do first...

Friend 1: Please, I'd let them run train

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Poor choice

Eating baked goods while working out is a poor choice.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Did you really think that was going to work?

Boys these days, I swear. They think they can get the milk for free. Check this Facebook message I got from this guy I haven't seen or talked to in like 5 years ... (note, while he is delicious looking, we have never previously been involved in any way):

Come down here, spend the night and get drunk with me. The fact that I haven't seen you since ******* is ridiculous. ###.###.####

Really? Did he think I was going to just hop in my car, drive down and have sex with him. Note, spend the night came before get drunk, so it is quite clear what is on his mind. Not only that, but he would like to be drunk to do it.

Now, I wouldn't say I've never done anything of that nature - yeah, I've had a booty call, or two, or... - but I have my limits. And I'm sorry, but Facebook "come down and fuck me" isn't going to work on this sexy bitch. No way. This is a perfect example of "wow your picture looks nice so I am gonna go for it after 5 years" behavior. It happens farrr too often. Facebook is not a meet market catalogue.

I had another experience where a short, but attractive boy approached me

Guy: Hi, I'm...
Me: Hi
Guy: So, can I get your number
Me: Ummm, you are gonna have to try a little harder than that
Guy: What why
Me: You just told me your name, I'm not going to just give you my number
Guy: Ok, what are you drinking
Me: Coors Light
Guy: Well, I won't get you another [drink], but I'll be right back, don't go anywhere
Me: Ok...

Please note, it was OPEN BAR. He wouldn't have had to BUY me the drink that HE inquired about. Needless to say I wasn't open to chatting when he came back.

What is this ridiculous behavior? What are these boys thinking?

Tools at diner

"Yo hoboken, tomorrow night, is gonna be redurkulous."

Subway fun

That's what she said

On strange dancing

Me: its too bad he's gay, he looks like hed go down well

Friend: oooh he probably does

On a new prospect

Me: His hands were only moderatly sized.

Friend: His feet were small too

Me: Then its not even worth it.

Hair sweater

"From the chin down he was the worst thing ever. he had boobs and was hairy like a sweater."

Friend discussing ex boyfriend's body

On volunteering

"Want to go? Maybe there will be hot, nice men there… I'm going to hell for wanting to volunteer in hopes of meeting a hot man."

Re purpose

I know, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry). I have abandoned my blog of terribleness, but don't think for a second I stopped being the horrific girl that I am. Oh no. On the contrary I have been as bad as ever.

And now, I'm going to share it with you...all of it.

I have decided to re purpose my blog, and use it to post from my phone...whenever I feel like it...wherever I am... whatever I am thinking. It will be spectacular.

I already have a bunch of the terrible comments think and say saved up. Ready to post.

Don't change the channel.