On drinking at work

Friend: Are you also drinking at work?

Me: Yes

Friend: oh Wtf! I should've gone to college.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

On meeting men

Friend: He was here for is friend's retirement party.

Me: haha maybe that is where you should stop...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

On your present

Friend: Well, I wanted to get you a stripper, a cop stripper, but my sister couldn't get a suite, and I felt it would be weird in a regular room.

Me: Give me a hug, you are the best friend ever.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

On sleeping over

And I'm going to get too drunk to drive home...that's my plan.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

On Titanic

You know you are getting old when you watch Titanic and you would prefer Billy Zane over Leonardo DiCaprio because he looks like a child.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

On new shoes

I just got new heels!! They are very "I Love Lucy"...if Lucy was a whore.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry